It hit me today like a freight train. Love. They say, time heals all wounds...but I think, often, the people we loved change until we don't recognize them, so it isn't "time" that changed, but "them". It wasn't time offering the healing in length, but simply, the person changed from what the love was orginally founded upon.
I don't recognize someone I loved.
I don't recognize his smile anymore. His eyes, his face, his style.
We never speak anymore.
I have no inkling of an idea what is going on with him right now.
It wasn't time healing the broken heart, but the realization that he has changed. I don't know him.
I wonder, how could I ever have loved someone so different contained within the same body?
Then, I think back, and back, and back. It's always been the same, hasn't it? People change and evolve and then one day you suddenly "see" them as they currently are. When you do, you realize you loved who they used to be, not who they are. Then, you just long for who they were, but that doesn't come back.
People keep evolving and adapting and changing. A year from now, who he was, the innocence he had, it will all be gone. The laid back country boy will be swallowed in the big city life. My sunny summer boy will truly be but a memory. The positive outlook I confided in will be even more silence, and day and month and year will blend in until he is just a memory of a summer of dashed hopes.
He'll be like those before him.
Love. I loved him. I loved who he was. I still love who he was. I just don't like who he is anymore. I can't blame time for that. It's simply part of life.
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