Saturday, April 30, 2011


forgetful, unwanted - tiptoe up and down and around and stop when you hear that beating sound; like a masterpeice in your ear, the sound of memories clear, but silly, you let them go; breaking the entry, move here and bury all the rest, and hide the rest - scarred, unwanted - dance bleeding on the ground, spin arpund and hear that sound; like a lullaby in your soul, the emptiness a hole, but darling, let it can't hold onto it all, you can't keep it all inside, like mountains are bound to collide - break the entry, break the soul, break the speech and the role, hide the rest, unwanted mess and breathe shallow; take the edge off in the words, find the way to heal the hurt and bear alone this curse - frightened, unwanted - die on the pavement in the darkness, the ache is taking over, leave it there and let it falter; to rise the next day, the day of awakening, and come forth new and whole and clean; prayer for the weary, for the weak - be strong, be brave, be great, but all you can be, silly, you can be.....anything.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I realize how much some of us hurt for love; we hurt in love, we hurt to have it, hurt to keep it, hurt to bear and hurt to lose it. We hurt while loving and hurt when losing; we hurt before, during and after. We hurt. I realize there is too much pain in this emotion called love. Maybe our fragile bodies, shallow hearts and weak minds were never meant to feel so godlike an emotion. Maybe we were never supposed to understand the depths of love. To love someone so much that you would let them love another and silently die a little more each day in your agony and your loss for no one will compare to them or to their beauty or to the purity of their soul. That love was never meant for us mortals. To love completely, unerringly, relentlessly and never receive. To be choked by heart ache and drowned in grief. That love was not meant for us here below. Surely, it was meant for immortal beings whose time frame to heal is far vaster than ours.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

....i want to assume that i know what i need...

there's a place in-between "i know" and "i assume".
it's a fine line.
a gentle string.
and some days i am holding the string in my hands and it nearly breaks.
there's a place in-between "i want" and "i need".
it's a blurred line.
a confusing thing.
and some days i assume what i want is what i need but i don't know.
you see this pattern i am caught in makes it hard for me to know without assuming and need without wanting.
when i get there, if i get there, i will tell you all that i know of what i need.
until then, you must hear me assume what i want.
my apologies.

Why Did Pandora Open the Box?

There are days I am unable to keep my hands off the box. Days I cannot even contain my wanting, my restless fingers, my itching palms.
I feel feverish when I stare at it.
That box.

There are days when I hear what's inside. I want to know what they are saying. Just a bit. Just a listen.
I think, I think they talk about you.
About me.
About Us.

There are days when the silence makes me worry and I want to peek inside to see if they left or if they decided silence was best.
The lid isn't locked.
I want to open it.

Today, they mentioned something of death. What if they spoke of you? What if they wish to kill you? I know I was told not to open the box, but what if they are plotting?
Can't I ask?

I think....I think I might have to check. There was laughter. And your name....................