Friday, October 26, 2012

I Need.........

I think the stars are aligning in a way to cause havoc and mayhem for this Libra. Why is it so hard to find someone to share the beauty in life with? I'm left exhausted by "Hey Liz", "Damn ur sexyyy" and "what r u doin?" and find myself seeking someone capable of higher intelligence and deeper spirituality. Why can I not find someone who goes outside and feels the echo of nature in his bones? I want to find someone who gets the need I have for standing beneath the sky and marveling at how very small I am in the universe, and yet, I can stand in awe at such beauty around me. Why can I not find someone who reads what I write and loves that I write so much he will buy me a cottage near a coast so that I may listen to the sea as I write. I do not want hookups. I do not want to waste my time on someone who is only pursuing me so that he can eventually have sex with me. I want someone who is astounded by my view of the world and finds it incredible and wants to share with me his view. He doesn't have to cook - but he has to love meals cooked on an open fire. He doesn't have to sing - but he has to love me singing as I clean. He doesn't have to understand why I like pretty things, he just has to let me like them and have them and fill a home with them. He must understand that I, as a Libra, may love all the lace and pearls and satin of the world - but I also like weapons and never shy away from a good fight. Like a General, in satin and velvet. I need swords and knives and necessary artillery along with pretty pillows and curtains. I need books and music and the sound of birds. Ah, why can I not find someone with whom to share the world with? It's so beautiful and life is so short.... and I'm perishing in a world I feel ill equipped to harbor one such as I. To quote C.S. Lewis: “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”

Monday, October 22, 2012

Gathering Inspiration Part I

My friend Johnny and I were discussing inspiration and I didn't realize that perhaps the process in which I gather inspiration might help others also to become inspired, whether for art, photography, music, poetry, or life in general.
I wanted to focus on a few areas in which I gather inspiration.

The Light Side
The Dark Side


The Good, The Bad and the Ugly


In each of these I will briefly describe the ways in which I gather inspiration.

Nature: The Light Side
In order to feel the light energy of nature, it is important to be out in it. On a porch, in the yard, the woods, a beach, a park, the sea, or in a river - these places offer an abundance of inspiring moments, from the light on a leaf to the sound of a bird, the gurgle of water over rocks or the wind through your hair, finding the uniqueness of the place you're in is key to gathering inspiration.
I often find myself mesmerized by clouds. I find their shapes to be intriguing, how they change and morph into something new. I find the way light comes through them to be uplifting. The churning storm clouds and the fluffy clouds of a pretty day, the wispy tendrils across the sky, and the way the sun sets behind clouds colored in cotton candy pink or salmon, or lavender.
The sun is forever inspiring - it adds light and depth to everything we see. It changes dark corners into brightened places and changes shapeless fields into wonders of shadowed blades of grass.
Insects buzzing and birds chirping, wind rustling and rain falling - sounds; sounds truly are transporters into new realms.
I enjoy the changing sights and smells of the seasons. Each season has an abundance of new smells and sights to behold. The scent of one season may inspire in you an entirely different emotion from another season. Think of the lilies in Spring, the fresh cut grass smell of Summer, the smell of fog and wet leaves in Autumn and the crisp scent in the air on a blustery Winter day.
Whether the waves of the sea inspire you, or the sound of an owl, or the changing stars  - the feelings of nature can become great companions throughout your day.
If you've never watched the moon on a cloudless night, nor waited in wonder for a shooting star, nor seen the sunrise nor watched a storm pass, surely your head has been turned down too long.
The next time you are out and about, contemplate the trees, the flowers, bark, ants and the smell of the wind; capture the energy inside you and let it lighten you.

Nature: The Dark Side
I am morbid. First off, do not let the former words fool you, I too, am inspired by the decaying world of nature. I am inspired by death, and the destruction of storms; I'm inspired by battered boats and broken windows from wayward tree limbs. I'm inspired by fallen trees and scorched earth. I find inspiration in the smell of smoke and how one vine can completely choke the life from another plant. I find the hunting predator's victory a marvel and the the macabre and creepy world of darkness to be intriguing. There is an unsettling feel to the woods at night; a feeling of vulnerability not found in daylight. The howling wind and creaking wood - these things can fuel inspired works of a darker sort.
If you've never walked the road at dusk while bats flew overhead, nor watched a hurricane bend palms towards the ground, nor walked in the aftermath of a fire, you've not seen the darker side of nature. It too, has inspiring bits - even if sharper edged.

Emotive: Moody
Ah, the term "moody" can apply to many moods, too many usually, all battling inside you. Inspiration that comes from our moods if by far the most common - our moods change everything we behold in front of us. "Moody" is the term I use when I have emotions battling each other like dragons in a coffin  - not enough room and it's hard to see the victor in such a tight space. I feel like I'm up, down, sideways and sprawled on a floor inside my soul - "moody" is inspiring for many reasons, but mostly, in your journey to unlock each emotion you find a tapestry of threads to draw from; each mood is a new layer to uncover, and each discovery is more fuel for your Muse.

Emotive: Anger
That crushing, snapping, want to scream, shout, kick, throw, stomp, beat, tear apart feeling we sometimes get. It's hot and bubbly inside or cold and calculated. It either bursts out from us or seethes inwardly. Anger is an emotion to let out  - not hold in. Being inspired by anger can be tricky. How does one let it be inspiration without taking oneself over? Such a balancing act - but truly potent fuel for your works if used right - if used wrong, it becomes poison that eats away at our other inspirations. Anger is an emotion to capture quickly and use swiftly.

Emotive: Joy
I didn't want to focus on simply "happy" because for most artists "happy" is too light, too shallow - our "happy" is really "joy". It's the feeling after struggle. It's the feeling we discover after we've seen all the darkened corners and dismal places. Joy is the feeling that gives our soul wings, if even but for a moment. It's inspired by moments or memories or utter exhilarating feelings and through us we wish to propel the joy outward. Joy is an inspiration meant to be shared. It's something one knows only after one has experienced the opposite. In joy, we learn the truest depth of happiness.

Emotive: Sorrow
Truly, the best remedy of sorrow is to turn it into art. We learn the bottom of our souls in sorrow. We walk that place at the bottom and our feet mold into the floor. We taste it in the air and sometimes we make for ourselves a cloak of sorrow and wear it on us like a shield. We project "I am hurt" as if to ward off further hurt. Our sorrow becomes the chains we use to bind us. Sorrow should be released with time. It will change, but give it wings to fly away, not roots to sink in deeper. I find often sorrow is in my writing, it's in the spaces between my words. If I were a painter, my trees might be tinged in colors of sorrow. It casts blurred shadows over what we see.

Love: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
I could write an entire blog on love. Oh wait, I have. I write endlessly of the many forms of love. It seeps into every ounce of what I do. The good is like wind chimes blowing through my heart, the bad is like shattering glass on the floor of my soul and the ugly is my wishing for daggers and claws to wound the one causing my pain. Love is always going to be the number one inspiration in life. We're all touched by love. Whether it was a gentle touch, a punch, or searing mark left on us, love is that one thing we all want, need, seek, find, lose, and wish we could escape from - and it fuels us. It fuels our lives. Love is our drive. It's the combustible force in desire and the earthquake to shake us apart and rebuild us into something new.
The good things of love leave us starry eyed. They leave us with that look of bloomed flowers.
The bad things of love tear us apart and wrench our souls and leave us in shreds.
The ugly things of love cause us to feel for someone what we never intended, and can lead from anger into hate, the most destructive thing to a human being.
I don't think I have to tell anyone to let love inspire them. I don't see how you could keep yourself from being manipulated by love  -  it's in all we do.

By now, you have gathered my usage of metaphors (and similes) is the way I explain emotions with words. I'm not sure how to describe the way I view the world in metaphors. Your happiness is palpable scent I wish to place in a candle and burn on cold nights; your voice is like honey to soothe my soul; his eyes reminded me of windows reflecting sky, and the balloon she held fled and burst in the wind like childhood dreams often rise and die with time. I think anyone reading my poems probably thinks I write when I'm high - I write sober, actually, but regardless I compare things to rodeos and whales and an albatross, to mazes and doors and toadstools; I have symbolism for myself in all that I write and each thing means something else usually. My mind is a labyrinth of murals painted in the colors of memories. I don't know how to view the world but in metaphors.

For now, this is all I am focusing on. I would like to further write regarding the inspiration I gather through observation of people; also, inspiration from dreams and memories.
I hope I have helped to inspire through my words, or simply gave you an insight into how I draw inspiration from the world around me.
Thank you again to Johnny, who is a wonderfully talented individual who also inspires me and at some point I will write on the inspiration of music, until then, fuel your Muse, feed your soul and embody inspiration in your life.

~Elizabeth Azpurua

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

What is Love?

Amber: It's like swallowing fire, endlessly, choking on the scorched remnants of your core and the smoke filling the air around you ceases oxygen and slowly you see the world fading....and when you are reborn you always carry the memory of that moment; it never fully leaves and there is an ache forever inside you for nothing, nothing can undo you the way that love can.

Ruth: It's the unalterable knowledge that no matter where they go, or who they love, or who they are with - you want to be by their side. It doesn't matter for where they are, that is home. That is the only place you can conceive of being. Where else would you exist after them, if not by their side?

Dara: It's a type of poison. Slow. Then fast. Then slow again. First, it makes the world a fake happy and then it makes the world a happy fake and after, it's all fake. There's no happy.

Felicity: I feel as if it is like an eternal Spring. It is always blooming, flowering, budding into something so beautiful that each moment is a glorious new start. It makes up for all the winters, which had been so barren, and it replaces their memory with that of joy, and life, and wonder. It's forever growing and blossoming into something incredible.

Jade: Have you ever chewed on razor blades? Your heart is the tongue and their love is the razor.

Summer: It's knowing no matter the depth of your woe, the length of your grief, that it's all worth it to hear them laugh. To see them smile. All the endless torment of life and hardships and stormy seas - it all disappears with the sound of their happiness. Their happiness becomes so important that if you become the reason they aren't happy, you would leave, remove yourself, just to know they'd be happy. It's all about their laugh. Their smile.

Jill: It all becomes one familiar ache. Like that old pair of shoes you can't throw out, but leaves blisters- yeah, you know the one I'm talking about. That's what it's like. If you find yourself in familiar waters, you know what's coming. You just sorta' swim and hope for the best - until you drown.

Alice: Well, after love, the world never is the same. Love is the only lesson that teaches you everything you need to know in life. You need it. You'll seek it. It will change the world around you, sometimes into a fairytale, and sometimes into a nightmare, but your world will never be the same after love.

Grace: It's falling. It's sometimes flying and sometimes landing and sometimes hurting, but it always starts with falling. Sometimes, people are terrified of falling. Sometimes, they love the feeling. I always loved it when I was caught. Love is falling hoping for a safe landing.